Friday, November 5, 2010
Have you ever had one of those days? A day that just seems to keep spiralling down. The house is a wreck. Partly because I have been lazy and partly because I have been busy. The laundry and ironing is piled up waiting to be done. The kitchen is literally FULL of dirty dishes. I am half finished working on the wood burning stove project and it NEEDS to be finished soon. The bathrooms need to be cleaned the floors need to be cleaned. And there are a ton of little household projects that need to be done. (Hang a coat rack, fix the washer/dryer closet, reroute the vent that blows under the dresser... etc) And I haven't even gotten to the piles of boxes that still haven't been unpacked from moving in throughout the year. And on top of that I have been procrastinating working on a big activity that I am supposed to be helping to plan for church next month. (It is coming up way to quickly now!!) I feel like there is this HUGE weight of to-do's pressing down and crushing me. And my instinctive reaction when that happens........ ignore it all, curl up on the couch and play video games or watch TV. I know that it doesn't make ANY sense. It doesn't help the situation AT ALL, but that is where I go. It just makes for one huge out of control downward spiral. When the kitchen is a wreck, I don't want to cook... when the house is a wreck I don't even want to work on craft projects. I just want to veg. I guess it's my way of shutting it all out and escaping from it. Or something. And so I have to force myself to look at it all, organize it and decide where I am going to start. But even that can seem SO overwhelming. And another ridiculous quirk I have.... it is hard to be motivated by myself. So when Hubby is away at work all day, I have to make myself do things. Once I am working or crafting or DOING anything, it isn't too bad. But getting moving and getting started seems to take SUCH an effort. I don't understand WHY I am that way. It's just the way it has always been. And so, today, is a downward spiral day. And I think it is starting to make me depressed. I can't let that start either. Come on me! I can do this!! Let's go load the dishwasher and the washing machine. Then I can get the little saw out and finish the trim on the floor. I CAN do this.... I WILL.... Wish me luck. I am off to fight against the current.